Well, that’s it, my London life is done. I left the city a week ago now and it’s been a little bit of a rollercoaster of emotions. 😅 I had a leaving weekend in which I had plans with friends and a leaving drinks party, per say. A lot of people were asking me ‘how you feeling? You feeling emotional?’ If i’m be honest, I wasn’t, the hardest part for me was coming to the decision to leave London, I think I cried enough tears to fill the Pacific Ocean. So my last weekend in London, instead was full of fun and happiness, rather than the sadness of leaving the city behind.
So, at the moment, I’m currently living back in my family home before heading off to Liverpool. The adjustment has been smooth if I’m honest, the slower pace has been delightful allowing time for thorough preparations for my next moves over the next few months. Only one spiral thus far, cancelled plans on Saturday resulted in many a tears over missing my friends, I am all for a good cry, and I clearly needed it, I always knew the first weekend away from the city was going to be a tough one and I wasn’t wrong! 😂 In the end I actually ended up having a lovely solo evening, watching Ireland thrash Scotland in the rugby and dancing on the sofa along to Strictly… whilst texting my best friend in London all night. Hey, in the wise words of Winnie the Pooh ‘How lucky am I to have something so special, that makes saying goodbye so hard.’ - they’re a once in a lifetime bunch, what can I say?! ❤️
The realisation of the amount of stress I was holding on my shoulders was immense. I didn’t even realise I was stressed, until I moved home, with pressures of living up to the London life. Being a creative, certainly doesn’t help, there is a constant stress to succeed in industries which are intolerably brutal. Taking into account, for me, London has always been in connection with following my passion for music, that is the reason I moved there in the first place, it’s not really a surprise I was holding this mountain of stress and anxiety without realising. It’s just always been what I have known, I have always had the mindset of ‘just push through’ - be it healthy or not, the relief is pleasant though, let me tell you that!
I haven’t felt this positive for my future in a long time, I have a clear path I need to follow, which is something I haven’t really had before. Yes, I am still slightly in limbo, I don’t have a job in the industry I’m striving for yet, I haven’t moved into my own place yet, but this is all ok, I’ll get there, there is time. I am incredibly lucky to have the most amazing family who are ridiculously supportive in everything I set out to achieve.
I can’t wait to update you, hopefully soon, with my next step, but who knows my next update might be another post about how I’m feeling amongst this change (i hear the sighs already). We’ll just have to wait and see! Until next time…
All my love and magic,
PS. We all know what the next blog post is going to be… maybe something to do with a recent meeting with a very special mouse! 🐭